Long overdue for writing a post with actual words rather than just clicking a camera, I know. Not that you care. echo echo echo
So recently I beat a speeding ticket. Or as some better-and-holier-than-thou types would say, “narrowly avoided the consequences to my actions when I broke the law which I shouldnt be doing anyway and dont you feel like you should pay the fine to show remorse blah blah blah”.
Yep, I beat one. First one ever. Because shockingly enough, I’m the kind of guy that cops and judges love to throw sh*t at.
It all started at the scene of the crime, 22 months ago, when I was pulled over while in a pack of cars all traveling the same speed, and where, I assume, the officer had used his laservision eyes to determine that I was going one-half a mile an hour faster than the two cars either side of me. He pulled me over, and after an Oscar-award performance on my part begging him to give me a break, he returned to the car to hand me his smirky ticket. But at the same time he said, “I heard what you told me, now listen to me very carefully- I’ve been out here all day writing tickets. Ive written a TON of tickets today. And I wouldnt EVER be able to remember the details of one ticket. You get what Im saying?”
(Then how ’bout not writing the ticket, pally?)
So here’s how to fight a speeding ticket. Some of what I did was by design, but other parts are simply what happened in the process, but if you do what I did, and depending on what state and city you live in, it barely makes sense to take deferred adjudication or defensive driving without having at least tried what I did.
1. I plead Not Guilty, and requested a court date. I was then informed that the court would send me notice when my court date was set, but that it would probably take at least 6-9 months.
It took over a year.
2. When they set the court date, I started to panic a bit. I thought, “Well, hell!! Now what do I do? Do I go to court and simply say it wasn’t me? Not a great plan if I do say so…” So I then called one of those local $50 Traffic Ticket attorneys, paid my $50, and she went to work.
3. The first thing she did was file a continuance, to prolong the process, and get me a new court date. That date was set for this past week, which made my hearing a full 22 months after the offense. If that officer couldnt remember the details of a ticket the day after writing them, he sure as hell wasnt gonna remember the details of my traffic stop 22 months later.
4. I went to the courthouse on my assigned day, ready to do battle, and sat for an hour trying not to get pulled into a discussion with the gentleman next to me about how “unconsequentional” the use of red-light cameras is. No, that’s not a typo.
They say that to actually show up and be presentable is critical, since if you make any form of mockery of the court, they’ll just screw you. So I resisted all urges.
5. Finally after waiting for an hour, the prosecutor walked in to the courtroom, and after he and my $50 Robert Shapiro did their little peacock posturing dance around each other for about 4 seconds, my case was dismissed.
The biggest point here is that even if the prosecutor decides not to drop the case, he doesnt want me to put the city through the expense of a jury trial. My lawyer can then ask for deferred adjudication or defensive driving as a last resort, which I would most likely get. The point being, there seems to be NO REASON not to go through this process every time you get a ticket.
In the end, my case was dismissed for a cost of $50, no points on my license, no deferred adjudication, and no spending another 6 hours learning what no one else on the road seems to know, that slower traffic should keep right.
Which is, one could argue, where I should be.