Yesterday I was accused of being too serious.

Standing in a lunch room. After having bought lunch for fifty. Yes, 5-0.

See, some days I hear stories about lives that have been changed by our drug. Uplifting stories about a mother who is relating to her kids again. A young guy who may not get fired this time. A teenager who is back in class, back on track. Stories that have your heart bursting with pride about the impact you have had on a family even though they don’t even know you exist.

And then, the other days. See, as I have pointed out before, often there is some disdain and loathing about what I do for a living. Treated like absolute crap. And still other days, much the same, but more subtle.

Back to lunch for 50. And there I stand, in a sea of office workers whose belief in free-lunch-entitlement often boggles the mind. Standing and waiting for a “healthcare professional” to come and listen to what I have to say about something extremely relevant to the wellness of their patients.

Healthcare. Professional.

Lemme just tell you how professional this doctor is.

“Doctor, can I have 3 minutes to review this new indication with you?”

“You’ll have to set up a lunch.”

For fifty. Which I do. Because I have to.

Lunch day rolls around. Baked Potatoes, Soup and Salad. For FIFTY.

Standing, waiting, waiting, standing. One hour. Then two.

Nurse asks, “Um, did you get your signature?”

Yeah. Because I just bought fucking lunch for fucking fifty for a fucking signature.

“No, I just need to check in with your doctor still…is she around?”

“Sure, she’s at the end of the hall, you can go find her”.

I leave my luncheon lovelies, proceed down said hall, in search of the fair healer. Round a corner, and there she is in all her mealtime glory.

Eating lunch. With another rep. She had called him to bring her specific food from another restaurant, and stand and eat with her at her station.

She stepped away from him, and approached me.

“You have something you need me to sign?”

“Actually I was hoping to take you up on those 3 minutes now to…”

“I’m leaving for the gym”.

She left 20 minutes later. After lunch.

I wandered back to my group of ravenous “friends”, and the room was now more raucous than ever. As I wandered back in, now in the foulest of moods, one nurse looked up at me to say, “I was just telling my friend how serious you are…why you so serious?”

“I’m not serious, that’s my twin…he’s talking to the doctor right now. I’m the fun one”…deadpan.

You could have heard a pin drop.

“See girl, I told you he was funny in there somewhere!”

I smiled.

“You get your signature?”

I stopped smiling.

“Eat your fucking potato.”


“Thanks, I got it.”

Reader Interactions


  1. what in the world???? you, serious??? never in a million years! so now i need to know…my brooke has been a new kid on adhd meds bc my ped’s dr has sucha a great rep! the have tagged it up and worked with us…it’s awesome. anyway, i don’t really knwo what you do, but i’m sure you do it with your heart…your whole heart…and that you have fun doing it. serious? i think not!

  2. Have seen this way too often (nurse here, who has taken a lot of free lunches from the likes of you and actually felt the info was beneficial). Have friends who have been in the business for may years – don’t know how you guys do it. You have every right to be ticked.

  3. I would have been so TICKED! It’s jobs like that that make you just want to poke your own eyes out. LOL My husband’s job is equally as frustrating so I feel for you.

  4. Deb hit the nail on the head – my brother was a rep back in the early 90s. He seriously tried to get “caterer” printed on his business cards.

    His boss didn’t find it so funny.

    For what it’s worth – I appreciate you!! And you don’t even have to buy me lunch.

  5. Reminds me of dealing with the parents of some of my students…We just have to keep on keepin’ on…

  6. And that my friend, is why I NEVER bring any more food. I bring alcohol at the end of the day. I hate it for you. And I hate docs like her.

  7. And sense I know you DO have a great sense of humor, I’m going to assume this was all a funny joke. Yep, that’s what I’m going with. No one would really behave that way. Least of all a doctor. Must have been a funny joke. Must have, but I think I missed the punch line.

  8. Hey Jay! Happy Friday! I awarded you a bloggy award.. pls go to my blog to collect it! You deserve it!

  9. That was awful! Unfortunately I know what you mean. I use to work at a drs office and the doctor I would work for was the same way. And if he didnt like your drug…he would make us fix him a lunch so he could eat at his station by himself. What a jerk!

  10. I guess we all are accused of things that we never thought we were. I’m always taken the wrong way–either being too serious or not funny enough. But I always write it off on them not paying enough attention.

  11. What! That is horrible. I can’t stand the total disreguard for others… I hope your day is much better.

  12. Did I ever tell you my husband works for a clinical research company? And the drug companies used to bring in lunched to them all the time, but apparently, they have some moral code now where it may look like they are buying them off. That’s like an extra $25 a week we spend on lunches now!! Boooo.

    Tkae care of that, will you?

  13. I would have been pissed!
    And I hear ya. Since my husband got sick, and I have to deal with doctors all day long, I am constantly appalled by the total disregard for other people by some doctors. You would think they are in it to help patients, but often, it just seems to be all about the money. Sad.

  14. Ahhhh…this brings me back to the days of working at my mom’s office. Potato, soup, salad, and nice fuck you for your time. LOVES IT!

  15. Wow.. That is just WRONG !!!!Better you in that situation than me. That doctor would have quickly become a patient or a cadaver. That is one thing I respect about my Dad. He always gives the rep the floor to accomplish their task. He gets the importance and value, but he also knows many of Dolts out there like this doc you spoke about.

  16. I came over from Deb’s blog. She told me to be nice to you…It sounds like the doctor could be a little nicer.
    I love it when my doctor’s drug rep comes into the office and leaves samples and I get a few. My diabetes drug is so expensive, I almost beg for free samples!!!

  17. You are a much better person than me! I would’ve chucked potato upside her head and dumped salad down the front of her stupid white coat!

  18. Oh, man. i’m sure you must feel trapped – like you’d love to tell that doc what you REALLY think of her, but since she’s a client you really can’t. It must suck. I can only sympathize, not empathize. So, I know I”m new around here, but i”m assuming you’re a pharmaceutical rep? For ADD drugs?

    Maybe you can quit your job and just blog. If you find the golden egg, fill me in on the details cause I need one too!

  19. that sucks. But you handled it WAY better than I would have.

  20. The reason why I come here is to read something funny. I love the humor here. Maybe because some people don’t appreciate or understand sarcastic humor, they take you as serious. Odd, either way. Don’t ever go too serious. I would have to quit reading if you did:)

  21. Ahhh…I used to be in that world. Don’t miss it a moment. In my former life as a Physical Therapist I too was a lunch slut. As in I took pointless lunches to anyone who would accept it. Totally sucked most days. And then I went and worked for doctors. And then I accepted lunch from anyone which again makes me a lunch slut from the other side, but in my defense the doctors were amazing and would not only talk to whomever brought the lunch but would end up asking lots of questions which helped us all learn about the drugs. Most the drug reps loved our office best.

    Now I am hungry.

  22. Damn! How rude!!!!!!!!!! I woulda made her a little ‘special’ doggie bag to take back to the office with her. If ya get my drift.

  23. That SUCKS!!!!! Bunch of overpayed LOSERS if you ask me. Probably don’t give their patients more than 10 min either.

  24. My Best Friend is also a Pharm Rep. I directed her to this post and she said that you captured her hell perfectly!!

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