Long overdue for writing a post with actual words rather than just clicking a camera, I know. Not that you care. echo echo echo So recently I beat a speeding ticket. Or as some better-and-holier-than-thou types would say, "narrowly avoided the consequences to my actions when I broke the law which … Read more about How to fight a speeding ticket.
Even though I've been eating these since I was a kid, my daughter and I can't figure out what to call them. They never had a name growing up, but you would think that Santa and the Easter Bunny were sitting in our living room every time Mom announced we were having...whatever the hell they're … Read more about Mash Dogs. Cheesy Mash Dogs. Whatever.
She started a life full of promise. She was bright, infectious, funny. And then she started down a couple of bad paths, and they led to a couple more. It soon became clear that she had problems, and her problems became our problems. And ultimately she died far too young on February 12, 2010, at the … Read more about I had a sister named Tara.
I was in love once. A crazy, reckless love that proved to be a blissfully emotional time in my life. She was spicy, fulfilling, and she made me feel like I was the only one in the world for her. And then one day, quite suddenly, she was gone. Her name was Burrito Zacatecas, and she disappeared. … Read more about A Burrito For The Ages.
Hi. My name is Jay, and I am a Grossophobe.I've never eaten a booger. This being my blog and not needing to impress to any great degree, I can tell the truth. I've never eaten a booger, but I saw friends do it when I was younger, and they didn't seem to think anything of it. When I saw a classmate … Read more about The Evolution Of Gross.
A while back I shared a tale with you about an experience I had with some snooty retail bitches, and their inability to summon the common decency needed to point out a man's...shortcomings.It was my hope that in doing so, I was sending a message to the Universe asking for decency to be shown to … Read more about Men’s Pants, Half Off.
I need to learn how to read the signs better.When you're about to leave for an important meeting, it is NOT the time to go ask someone to bend your glasses.When you walk in to make this mistake with your glasses ANYWAY, and the lady who comes up to help is the same Angel of Death you almost … Read more about Target Angel of Death.
Today I have a very special tribute to three individuals at Kroger whose names I dont even know. But you made a difference in my life, and I want to spend a minute acknowledging you today.You see, on Sunday I narrowly avoided an aneurysm spending the day attending to the simple and strenuous needs … Read more about Angels at Kroger
Yesterday I was accused of being too serious.Standing in a lunch room. After having bought lunch for fifty. Yes, 5-0.See, some days I hear stories about lives that have been changed by our drug. Uplifting stories about a mother who is relating to her kids again. A young guy who may not get fired … Read more about Clearly, ladies, you don’t know me.
How do I justify thee? Let me count the ways.As a strapping man of many stone, I understand my worth, for yea that mine own intake may not exceed 2800 calories on the morrow.As well my morning coffee cost me but a trifle, a mere 50 calories in nonfat milk, and four sweeteners sent to adorn and … Read more about Sweet sustenance, thy name is Wendy.
I first kissed a girl in 1984. Not the book, the year. True to some Orwellian prophecy however, people watched me do it, and I was confused and terrified the entire time.Now you must understand, I had kissed girls before. A couple of Barbies will attest to the fact that I had normal male urges...I … Read more about The hottest girl in a very small school.