me and b hlToday is about you, my friend.

I want to tell you some things, things that you probably won’t understand until you are much older. Maybe you’ll even be a Daddy yourself when you feel what I’m going to tell you, and I hope you feel most of it for yourself.

Boys think their Daddys aren’t scared of anything, but I have to tell you, I was scared of you.

See, I had a bit of a rough time as a kid. I was younger than the other boys, and had some stuff happen, and so I was afraid that if I had a little boy I would have to guide him through some of the things that life puts in the way, and I wasn’t sure I could do a very good job.

It’s easier for Daddys and their daughters, and harder. And your sister was such a pill, she really had me scared of adding to the family. But Mommy and I wanted to make our family grow, and wanted to make sure your sister could have a friend to love, so we tried again.

On the day you were born, the doctor asked, “Would you like to help?” Thinking he was just having fun with me, I replied, “Sure! But I could use some help!” And then as if to silence my arrogance, he handed me a gown and gloves, and took me to where you would join us. He took your head, and led it to the light of the room, and then asked me to step in, and take my son. You barely resisted before you entered my life, falling into my grasp. And you were born.

Any fears or insecurities I had about having a son have mostly gone now. You arrived as if to push those fears to the side, and accept what I had to offer without question. While I look into your face and worry about what has yet to come, you stare at me with eyes that could care less. Unconditionally accepting eyes. If I am going to disappoint you, I am really gonna have to want it. And I don’t. I sometimes feel like I’m supposed to be tougher, and not hold and kiss you as much. I just can’t seem to stop.

I promise you I will try to let you live your life without telling you how it will be, as long as you ask for help when you are confused. There is a lot I will not be able to give you, but a lot I can. All you ever have to say to me is, “Dad, can we please talk?” And we will.

I didn’t know what I was going to be able to teach you if I still had residual doubts in my own life. The thing is, I’m going to try to not put my past on you. I want you to find your own way, and I want to help, too. There are things that may not be easy for you, and I may be able to help. But I’ll try not to make my struggles your struggles.

After your sister was born, I thought I might not have enough love to give to another. And then you came. And I had enough love for you both. Any fears I had before of having a son are now gone, and so are any memories of a full life without you. I’m only going to put pressure on you to do one thing…be happy.

So today I try to put down my own baggage, and help you avoid your own.

Happy Birthday, sweet boy. On this, your second birthday, I wish for you a life filled with the kind of love I feel for you.

Do you have something for me to read?

I love to find great blogs, leave me a link to your latest/favorite blog post so I can come take a look!
[inlinkz_linkup id=443380 mode=1]

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Nicely done Jay. Now kind of what I spoke about last WW , print it off. fold it and save it for him to read years from now. After 22 preferably.

  2. Happy Birthday sweet boy! Now is your b-day Wed?? It is on Facebook. E’s is Friday-prepare yourself-it’s a sleepover.

  3. What a cutie….he is!! Happy Birthday to him. Very wise and sweet words. A blessed family you are….:)

  4. Shucks, that was just so sweet. He’ll love that when he’s older – it’ll be one of those things he clings to for the rest of his life. Well done.

  5. Oh my gosh, the tears, I can’t stop them. If only EVERY boy good have a father write something like this to him, the entire world would be a better place.

    Happy Birthday to your darling boy!

  6. ok I can’t believe I did it. I posted a tribute. After clicking on Mr. Linky in error, I realized there was no way out!! And I thought I was going to sleep early…ha!

  7. What a post to read while I’m PMS’ing!!! Holy tears.

    Tmi? πŸ˜‰

    I adored this post, and I think you need to print it and put it somewhere so that he can have it one day.

    Man, now my shopping tribute doesn’t seem so special. πŸ˜‰

  8. Okay cute kid? that growl face is hilarious!

    Oh and?? Your facebook link above? links to this group:

    People who would rather watch a football game than have cancer

    Are you in it?

    Carissa

  9. Sniff. Sniff. Where was that disclaimer that today’s is a tear jerker? Happy Birthday to your son. My second child turned 7 yesterday. I’m old.

  10. oh jay. your femaleness complements your maleness so well. mr. b is going to be one hell of a man with you guiding him through life. what a sweetie. and mr. b’s adorable, too.

  11. That was so sweet! And isn’t it amazing how they think us parents rule the world? My son asked me something the other day and I said I didn’t know the answer. And he said but you know everything mommy. He can melt my heart.

    And your son is absolutley adorable!

  12. how frickin sweet is that…a letter to your boy!! makes me miss mine!! good for you jay, putting down your baggage…i have had to do that as well. i have a lot of abuse n my background and could have used that as an excuse to not be a parent/good parent. but i have chosen to live in the here and now and rejoice in what God has allowed me to have in my life!!! Great post!!!

  13. Jay, that was beautiful. ANd that boy…I would never stop kissing him either. Happy Birthday, little one. (No Jay, not you. Your kid.)

  14. Such a nice letter to your son! Wouldn’t it be great if all fathers thought out how much and why they want and love their sons… Very cool!

    You know, he might even be proud of you during his teens…. then again, probably not!

  15. WOW, great pictures and such a touching letter!

    Happy Birthday sweet boy! You are lucky to have such a great Daddy!

  16. Lovely tribute Jay. Kids help us leave our baggage behind, and our hearts to grow as big as they need to be:)

  17. Made my husband read this. While he didn’t get teary like me, he did get really quiet for a while and then grumble something about “needing to get a beer.” in man world that means emotional mess.

  18. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I really appreciate it. I loved your post and it was really hard to not talk about my daughter… but I do that all the time and I realized I never thank my mom. I love this idea and plan on doing it from now on!!
    Thanks
    Jessica

  19. First off I’m stunned that this was written by a man. No offense. But WOW! I had tears by the end! Very, very nice post!

  20. Oh geez Jay now I’m crying. That was utterly beautiful and now I know you guys’ birthdays are one day apart!! Incredible!!

    That post was just awesome and what a gift to your son.

    Happy Birthday to your lil’ precious dude. How lucky he has you for a daddy.

    P.S. Your wife is stunningly gorgeous. πŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *